Photograph of one of my ex’s doing the washing up naked, well how she liked spending her time with me… Arielle my cat of many names also liked being as she put it ‘rude’ or doing ‘rude’ thing… well with me anyway… Though never had sex… virgin or so she told me and wanted to wait and make sure I was the one… Which I think she knew I was, but ‘her mad mother problems’… Also not being rich… Think between pressure from her mother not to love me… There was the idea about finding someone rich… and maybe famous too… Not that she was domestic in anyway… Think she just liked banging the plates around and doing it nude… Even wanting to be my cat she was not domestic, more feral.. which was fine by me… Whatever the woman wants… A social shot intimate rather than a shoot… Though I do believe some find this inspirational as well… 2013 Russell Hand © ®

Being Inspirational… It might sound arrogant, but it is what I have been told by many people through my life, including; artists, photographers, fashion designers, models, actors/actresses etc… I am, always amazed when someone says to me when talking to me or sometimes reading some of my writing and then meeting me, that I inspired them, I always think I am just me and try to do my art, photography, writing. Well I do love talking / it is part of my research, talking about the world, the world of possibilities, being, existence, the beauty, the beauty of dust motes swirling in sunshine, a butterflies wings, or Tommy the black cat that uses my car roof or bonnet as a bed, and often comes up and meows at me for a stroke, or how we could make this world a better place for everyone and everything, the past, the present, the future, conversations etc… Inspirational or so this site says I am…

#Fusion: 5 Inspirational Paintings by Russell Hand

#FUSION: 5 Inspirational sculptures by Russell Hand

I am just honest about my life, it is statement not arrogance. Then I am honest, have integrity, try to be as straightforward as possible, though apart from my artistic practices, there is also my theoretical and ethical structures, which are extremely complex, and ongoing, a life time of study and hard work. So sometimes, I have to simplify much of the theory so others without that kind of knowledge can understand some of it, or of course just not talking about it. There are some wonderful people in the world & some not so wonderful people. I have met and spoken to some incredible people, and some people who seriously are not. I do not really like facades, those smiling facades when they face you and then are anything but as you turn away. People have asked on many occasions what my work is about, it is about, life, existence, being, thinking, engaging with new ideas and concepts, laughing with the pure pleasure of being. It is about the open work, the imperfect / perfect. E.G. Duchamp’s glass cracked while being moved and then he said it was finished.

This is not just about my work but many works through space & time, works through history, works of the mind made manifest / concrete in the world…

Holding a crayon or pencil since one could and drawing. Holding a brush at 3 or 4 and painting. Reading about dinosaurs, fossils Greek & Egyptian myths & ancient history from 5, shooting Polaroids when you were 6. My mother taught me to pattern cut & machine, making clothes @ 9 and I read most of her poetry books… Reading philosophy @ 12 onwards. Most of the classics of fiction by 16, without really realising. Well if you write it is a good idea to have read something… Something of the best written through the whole of human history… the highest quality in, can help with trying to put the highest quality out…  Growing up with the wonder of the world, in your mind, and all the possibilities of being… Some one recently said to me “You are the ‘real McCoy’, you come up with your own ideas / concepts, make all your own art, shoot your own photographs, write your writing yourself ” not sure how they knew, though I do…

Then in my life running across beautiful women seems quite normal… Whether shopping in a supermarket… or stopping in a bar to get a glass of water…

Popped into a bar to get a drink of water and met a group of people including Ella lovely Brazilian woman London 2018

Or having a drink the other day with Orly…

Digital snap but not a bad photograph… London 2018

Or not so arty… but sweet and light, Orly again… London 2018…

Or Wei, an international fashion model Taiwanese an old friend… Asked me to shoot her in a cemetery in the snow… Cold… But fun… London… have to check  the date…

Or going to a friends art opening… And meeting this beautiful creature… By creature I do mean a wonderful woman… London 2018

I do think one of the problems that most women have with me… Is I am so use to beautiful women… And they are so use to men falling all over them… So I get into relationships with women that love me and are in love with me… But seem to want more… What I am not sure… more ? I am with them and they are with me… Is that not enough… But because they are use to men fawning… and falling at their feet… Me I am just me… A man use to beautiful women… Since 15… So what more… is love not enough…

Some women have told me that a day with me or a night is like a lifetime with someone else… Though a day or a night with me is more beautiful… I think it might be to do with a day or a night or a year or 2 with me, they become ‘alive’… Which is also why they might be somewhat unhappy when it does not last… But hardly my fault if they lie to me… and then after lie about me… Then I always thought that the world lights up for me… But some, particularly women when they are with me… have told me no I light up the world… at least for them… It is not just about personality or so they have told me… it is more like electricity… pheromones… Then maybe DNA, electromagnetic fields and frequencies… They become so entangled with me they lie to stay with me… Which they do not need to do… we are together… lying even to stay with me… just makes me want to leave… Or as I once told my cat of many names, ‘disappear like smoke’ which made her cry when I said it too her… But she did anyway… I have told them all if you do not want to be with just say and I will go… I mean you cannot make someone love you… But they have even taken that the wrong way and turned round and said “So being with me does not matter to you that much”… Of course it does but if they do not want to that is their choice… With a few with ‘suicidal tendencies’ which they had before I knew them… I have asked them ‘Please let me know how you are occasionally… But they have not… Maybe to punish me for I do not know what… I even told them if you are happy and with someone else I would like to know and I would be happy for you… even if it breaks my heart… But that is even taken the wrong way…

If you love someone, care about them and are in love with them… Would you not like to think of them as happy even if they are not with you anymore… and with someone else… What is love otherwise… even if it tears ones heart out… My love is not so fickle that it changes with the wind… When I love, I want happiness for the one I love… even if it tears me apart… Maybe strange… Then mayhap that is why none of my relationships worked out, because love can be selfish… But to love surely you have to do it with an open heart… If you are scared of a broken heart or dying can you really love or live… Which is also why so many women that have loved me, hate me now, because they either gave me their heart or told me I was their heart… but I never broke any relationship…

Then they seem to want me to die if I am not with them anymore… or make that happen… or just destroy my life… Which seems somewhat harsh…

Then how could someone who loved me so much, now hate me so much… when they are with someone else they claim to love… especially in at least one case, that I know they have had a child with them… It makes no sense to me… I do not understand… except in a intellectual way… But that still makes none of it right or just to me, or the person they are  now with…

Then Arielle, my cat of many names, once sent me this;

XAUV CLWI TWQG WYWH

PAIN   PAIN  PAIN    PAIN

VIGENERE

I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU

A cypher with the key to it ‘pain’ which she told me was for ‘bread’ in French… But I was never sure, even at the time, if it was ‘pain’ as in the English meaning… Meaning it was painful for her to be in love with me… or anyone… as in really in love… and why she sent it in code… I do not know…

Then a strange thing in my life everyone seems to think I am around their age, whether 20 or 60… Though most seem to think I am around 35… Me, I am just me… among other things, Odysseus or so 100’s of people called me on Mykonos the last time I was there… Both Greek and from everywhere else… A number of friends use to call me the UN, United Nations… Because I find beauty in every race on the planet… especially the women… but never think one look is better than another… I like beauty… even more so when it is inside as well as outside… I love that… Though that is rare…

Then when I get people that are ugly inside and outside being rude to me… I do find it funny… I mean… though I do not have photographs of 99% of the women that have had any kind of interest in me, whether talking or l’amour… I have many more photographs of women that like talking to me or had l’amour for me… and some me for them…

Though the most important thing in life is to have a good heart…

Which unfortunately seems to be as rare as rocking horse shit… But does exist…

To be continued…

O a video collaboration with Jordan Martin etc… All credits shown in video… Photography Russell Hand